Ten Commandments of staff meeting

1. Be on time and in your place at the meeting time. 2. Know who is leading the meeting and show them due respect. 3. Be a good listener. Focus on the speaker and what they are saying. 4. Be supportive, encouraging and enthusiastic when others are giving reports and presenting new ideas. 5. Don’t dominate conversations or interrupt and be sensitive when others want to talk. 6. Don’t be in a mode of attacking, arguing or defending. Take responsibility for your words and actions. 7. Take notes during the meeting. 8. When given an assignment avoid reverse-delegation. 9. When giving assignments confirm that person understands completely. 10. If you need to bring up a problem for discussion that is in your department or project have one or more possible solutions ready to present. (Courtesy internet) The other side 1. When specific remarks are made, it may annoy others, who cannot adjust the meeting. Hence be as vague as possible. 2. Don’t say anything until the meeting is half over. This may stamp you as being wise. When in doubt, suggest that a committee will look into the matter and submit a repot 3. When discuss about punctuality, Try to deviate the subject as quickly as possible. If discussion is continued, make others feel that u are taking a lot of pain to keep punctuality. 4. Bring a piece of paper with some computer print. Every time the speaker make a point, pretend to check it in one of the print out. 6. Pretend to find substanding evidence in the paper. 7. Nod vigorously till your head is loose. 8. Takedown all what others say. When ask for ideas to be discussed don’t say anything and tell convener that all points are covered. 9. When the convener says something, compliment it as a wonderful idea. 10. Demand for more staff, so that others may feel that u are doing a lot with minimum resources.

People pleaser

“I’ ve no trouble in saying others ‘No’. Can you do a favour to me? When you are very busy, would you refuse a call from a friend asking you a favour? Many people are ready and willing to help others in need. Sometimes, people do away too much for other people at the expense of their own quality of life. While it is a wonderful thing to help others, we all need to keep a delicate balance of giving and keeping for ourselves. When a person just can’t say ‘No’ to someone who asks a favour, they are People Pleaser. Those who worry that saying ‘No’ is always a bad thing, need a bit more balance. A pretty balanced style is more acceptable when compared to ‘self pleaser’ and ‘people pleaser’. It is nice to help others, but sometimes we have to please ourselves first. You don’t have to please every one but you should also do what makes you happy’”. The above are not the brainchild of tamperfinder, but came to his mind when one of his colleagues earnestly putting all her time to help a person, clearly knowing that the effort will definitely boomerang her. She certainly needs a balance between the two categories above. Tamperfinder is no different person. He can say ‘no’ vehemently to all except to those financial consultants cum marketing executives who sells products like Insurance, SIP, ELSS, Mediclaim etc etc.He may sometimes borrow money and join the scheme if the vendors are trying for a job which would be decided by their marketing ability. Needless to say, many schemes are running at heavy loss. In 2-3 cases, tamper finder doesn’t know even the name of the fund he joined!!!! And not courage enough to peruse the NAV of the scheme in the present bear market condition in which the prices of securities are falling. Aswathy is one among the vendors used to call tamperfinder frequently, whether in busy schedule or not,she don't care.Tamperfinder has been listening to her sweet voice for the last two years. She is working with Blue chip company of financial consultants. Initially tamperfinder avoided her by not saying NO, but by ‘call me later’. She explained the advantage of the products and admitted that she lives out of the commission received.According to her,all the products she deals are the best in the financial market. Her pestering continued for months together and tamperfinder understood that the delay tactics would't be successful anymore and finally told her to come and explain about the product. (And of course, to see the owner of the sweet voice in person!) Instead of Aswathi coming,……….. two dark tall men with lap top and handouts of various schemes came and arranged a presenatation about the scheme meticulously to which tamperfinder finally succumbed. Now two months have passed since tamperfinder heard her voice coz of a shift of place and change of phone number. Definitely, one day she’ll find it out. Aswathy is not alone……….. There is Ganesh, Anoop, Sajan, Pradeep, Nishanth… Still tamperfinder has not learned a lesson!! Because he’s a vendor pleaser.

A Clean desk is devil’s den

A clean desk is devil’s den. That is why I keep my desk always full of files and untidy (and not because I could not deal the files in time!) But a clean room is definitely not devil’s den. That’s why I decided to clean my room. I just don’t know when it was cleaned the last time. This is an old heritage building carrying the nostalgia of great luminaries who chaired the office, spent time , even before I was born. Tamperfinder always has the nostalgic feeling and can often easily go back to those days (not physically) This heritage building belongs to a part of the electricity department of an erstwhile royal dynasty. Yes, the room needs urgent cleaning, tamper finder decided. Coz, the other day he found a cockroach nearby... During cleaning work tamperfinder found a mouse running away from his room and took shelter nearby! Another One is driven out of room by the cleaners. Two” mouses”……….no……only … mice………. are taken away….. If mouse become mice, why can’t a house become “hice”? Why not? He said to himself. The cleaners are busy with there work. One man is hitting the carpet to drive out the dust. He is beating the carpet gently as if it may hurt the carpet. Two other are trying with a mop Top, Pop….the similar words came to his mind Tamperfinder again thought for a while inhaling all the dust. If ‘Pop’ is father, ‘Mop’ must be mother. Yes,Mothers are often seen with mop and not fathers with it.!!! Mop? What is the origin... Maintenance Operation Protocol, Muriate Of Potash, Manual Of Practice, Method Of Production, Mother Of Pearl. Manual of Office Procedures etc…………….. But None of these mops s will clean my room however! As cleaning progressed, a colleague came. There is a sprain on his foot. He is limping. ‘Put a boot of the feet’, I told him ‘It won’t look nice, sir’ he said ‘if I put it on single foot’. ‘So put it on two feet’ .Then again got confused, if foot becomes feet, why can’t a ‘boot’ become ‘beet’? ? I’ve already joined with the cleaning work, but my friend simply looking the work Yes, He is a looker. I saw the security man cooking something in a near by room. If my friend who simply looks at the work is a looker, the other man who cooks must be a ‘cooker’. A metal pan with a stand is traced from the corner side of the room by a man. It belongs to yester years with engravings of some sort of art work. If ‘man’ becomes ‘men’, will the ‘pan’ be a ‘pen’? No. The driver came. ‘Shall we move’? Nodded tamperfinder. ‘Yes, where is the vehicle’? ‘Sir, due to this heavy dust, I parked it out in ‘driveway’.’ ‘Good’, ‘we shall now drive in the parkway’, said tamperfinder putting end to his wild thoughts.

A LOAD SHEDDING TIME WITH MY FAVORITE

It is load shedding time in the city. No TV or Music, no noise except few vehicles. The vehicles are off the road today due to shortage of fuel. How to tide over the ½ hour time? Usually I prefer to stay out during this time but today could not. I was simply sitting in the settee. Soon I felt her presence. Yes, she is sitting near to me! I can see her eyes at candle light She’s looking at my face only ,………her eyes reflect like a precious stone Yes, she adores me! She has no shame in sitting with a grown up man, especially when the lights are off and others are busy with their works. I was not wearing a shirt since it’s too hot. She moved close to me …..Little by little expecting support from me.. I looked at her face. Yes, she loves me. Her nails are shaped beautifully. The nature has given all necessary ingredients of beauty to her. The nail polish is brown and shining, very suitable to her dresses (?) . Yes, she is colour conscious. Her eyes are blinking. The eyebrows are not touched but in good shape, may be she is visiting beautician frequently. The curly hair is falling on her face and ears.. She is not bothered to comb it properly. Yes, she is a careless beauty. Her lipsticks definitely need a touch up, but she is not cared. I just don’t know what she wears…its pitch dark and I could see only a red necklace I touched her shoulders just to discourage her from coming nearer and nearer. What others think of me when sitting with a careless beauty? She is again coming nearer and nearer, pushing me to the other end of the settee. Now, I cannot move further. Yes, she is shameless. I said to myself. There is time and place for any thing and everything. ‘This is load shedding time. Electricity may restore now, please move a little’ I said in a soft voice. She has no mood to hear me , but placed her soft hand on my body……..pressing the shaped nails ….. ‘No this is not a fair time’……I pushed her back, but she is in no mood to listen me…and put both her hands on me… Yes, she is adamant. I tried to get up but prevented by both her hands. She pressed her face on me and kissed.. …I could feel the wetness of her lips… Yes…she could not suppress her love and emotions as she missed me during day time. She kissed me again …but this time I felt itching rather than any emotion. I pushed her back. And gave her a small blow on her tail……she jumped down, crossed her fingers to me and went away.. Yes,she is my favorite dashund.

Call it a day on a high note. Stop singing when the voice is good (or stop using mobile before its range is out!!!) Tamperfinder has been the Public Relations Officer of God’s own utility and has been (mis)handling the vivacious media in God’s own country for the Last two years. As Gods do mischief, so does his media in his own country and utility. ‘God’s own utility’ is a source of news for media for quite some time. The vibrant media don’t like any voids and want news all the time. If not properly informed, they may get information from some other sources; usually from the unofficial PROs and the interpretations need not be correct. My utility deals about 10 million customers, a quarter century employees and equally, older employees. The modern concept of the management says each and every employee should act as a PR manager, and at the time of crisis, the CEO himself will act as the PR Manager. In tamper finder’s industry, the unofficial PR Managers will come into picture when they quarrel with their higher ups for denial of leave or promotion of some other categories, or late arrival marked in muster roll etc.As mentioned earlier, few media persons moving in tandem with these so called PR managers causing hard time to the real PRO. All important policy decisions are to be informed to PR wing as soon as it is arrived. It’s for the management to decide whether it should be made known to the public or not. The PR manager need not be a jack of all trades but should know who the actual person to disseminate the ideas.Tamperfinder gets information of decisions by his own efforts only and there is no official channel which automatically informs him of decisions. When certain informations, not meant for the intimation to public is made available to tamper finder, as if a positive news and later causing embarrassment to the management, something is wrong somewhere. There was only one government owned news channel in God’s own country few years back and now it has reached to two dozens with 4-5 exclusive news channels! Tamperfinder has two mobile phones and two land line phones but has only two ears!. One of his friends walked out of room as tamperfinder was busy on phone could not attend to him for 10-15 minutes. The PR manager has to liaison with all stake holders. The PR dept has to be informed with all important decisions which may be useful if shared with public rather than sharing news which causes embarrassment to public and stake holders. The difference between these two are very narrow and tamper finder had to apply mind to study why this information is passed / not passed, before putting in the press information system. He had to read the related decisions in this regards and analyze how the stake holders responded in similar situations earlier. (tamper finder can easily (?) read the mind of Management, Media and Masses but very poor in reading between lines!!!!!) So………. Stop singing when the voice is still good. Or Stop using mobile before the range is out.

The Funny ICICI bank

The Funny ICICI bank This is the experience I had with ICICI bank today morning. Tamperfinder was quite happy when the Distance Education University asked him to remit the tuition fee by DD preferably thro’ ICICI bank, not because he likes private new generation banks, but this bank exempt DD commission for tuition fee for my university. Very good As I tendered my application for DD for a small amount less than 10000, the chocolate boy at counter asked me whether I possess necessary identification documents with me. ‘Identification for this small amount?’ Whispered tamper finder. ‘Yes sir’,This is our rule and have to follow it scrupulously. ‘Bhayya,…I’m an SB account holder of this bank, still want identification for this just 4 figure amount?’ ‘Yes that’s our rule, we have to follow scrupulously’ OK.. Tamperfinder gave the original identity card, a driving license, first scrutinized by Asst manager, then by deputy manager and finally by the Branch Manager himself. Finally he handed it over to the security, who simply disappeared??!!! 5 minuets passed……… no response. ‘Sir……….. we will get u everything within 10 minutes’ one of the ‘boys ‘said…. ‘This is our rule’ we have to follow scrupulously’ ???? 10 minutes passed. One gentle man came to withdraw 500000 rupees. No cross checking…….. Simply arranged the money. Another came for depositing a bunch of 500 notes. No checking, but with a smile they ‘snatched’ the amount and deposited. Tamperfinder is in double trouble. He gets neither the DD nor his identity card. They may get a duplicate of this? Why cant? No? These people are not like this, tamperfinder consoled by him. Again few minutes passed ? ‘Sir, this is our rule we have to follow scrupulously’. Very good Again time passed ??? ‘Sir the system is slow, the printer is not responding’ that’s why the DD getting delayed.’ ‘Yes …the printer may also verify the genuineness and it also has to follow the rule scrupulously,’ the tamper finder said to himself. Tamperfinder had a long relationship with ICICI bank. Once his account was freezed by the authorities Not because any Government orders… Not because any court orders….. But one of the staff, by error has done it Later the Branch manager visited tamperfinder’s house at night with a bunch of orchid and an apology letter. All these things flashed to his mind ‘Sir, here is your DD,the same gentleman standing in front of me, making abrupt end to my memories. He soon left the bank. Ssssssssssssssssiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……….. One man is running towards him? Why???? tamperfinder also start running as if something caught fire ? Any security problem? ‘Sir, You have to put two signatures on photo copy of ID card and attest the identification card of which we have scanned a copy to keep with us…………” He completes all in single breathe. “And that’s our rule and we…………” …….”Have to follow scrupulously…” this time completed by tamperfinder The only error tamper finder has done is still operating a SB account with them in spite of all these underprivileged dealings and spent unnecessary time for availing the facility of free DD. For saving 25 rupees, he gas to spend 25 minutes .Tamper finder is pennywise and pound foolish. The Funny ICICI bank!!!!!!!!!